I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
