i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My breasts were aching with rage.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
