real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
