my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
