just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
