Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
