dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just blew my weed a kiss
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
