oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
