I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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