I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
