just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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