So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
