He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We need to get me chipped asap
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
