Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
