Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
