He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
