It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
