I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
