I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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