Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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