im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
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i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
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I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.