I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
