It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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