we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
we made out on top of his cat.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize