I must be too annoying 4 u.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
