Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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