i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
