I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
