Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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