I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
