why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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