I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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