Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
