i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
