It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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