She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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