At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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