her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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