I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
