sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
