I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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