Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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