Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
