Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
