I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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