I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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