Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He has the fingertips of a God
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