You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
