think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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