So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
