you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize