i can't believe i had my finger in that
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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