There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
why do cheetos always look like penises
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
