I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
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You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
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I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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