So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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