It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
