He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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