very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
