No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize