Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
