No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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