i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
